What are memories?

Told me that we would spend our best memories together, made all the promises to me. Empty promises. Strong outside, sad inside. To the extent, I can't even type proper English now.

I came across this sentence, someone saying to another person he kept their memories in an album because he want to forever remember those memories, and continue to fill up that album. I thought of you. Our album, is only half filled.. and, you left me. I will never forget, 27 November 2007, you left me crying at my very own ice skating rink.

Is this the only way I can actually tell you how I really feel?

December till now, I've never given up anything towards you. I stop texting you, stop telling you anything, but why? Because now, I'm afraid. I never wanted you to leave. Months ago, we were the happiest thing that plant Earth ever witnessed. Months later, at least, I'm the saddest thing that earth ever saw. Whatever we did, we did it with what we had for each other, and that's love. You gave me the world, and you made the world crumble down on me.

You knew from the very start that I changed everything for you. I just wanted to show you I wanted to be part of you. I did what people say was stupid, but I don't regret it. I touched cigarettes because of you, I even slept at the staircase just to wait for you. I just love you.

You love me, you admitted it. You admitted you treated me like your own boyfriend. But why? Till today, I never understood. That Monday, we met. I was sick. I turned up, and I gave you a hell of an attitude. You know why? I tried to put up a strong front, I tried to show you how strong I was. But you still manage to find a loophole in it. You saw my sadness, didn't you? I seek for your forgiveness, but you treat me like you didn't know me at all.

You weren't my dream girl, but I just loved you. I was always a call away, a text away. One call, one text, I can make my way down to Bedok. Daphne, why?

I have never given up anything, any hope. You made this blog for me, and I'll make you read me now. Yes, I'm sad. In fact, yes, you're right. I've changed. I've changed ever since you left me. I'm never the xuanyou that smiled to you everyday. You wanted to see my smile right? Now, I don't know how to smile.

I'm waiting, waiting for the day to come. (: watashi wa honto daisukii na. Aishiteru.

2009 has been very, how should I say... very jumbled up. Ups and downs, happy times and sad times.

2009 made me had W35N, arguably the best class I've ever had in my schooling life. There's so much to say about them, but it simply leads to one conclusion, they're fantastic people that I don't know if I can find people like them anywhere else.

Fantastic people.. speaking about fantastic people, the ending of 2009 saw my heart got broken by one fantastic girl. When two people love each other, confesses to each other, but nothing materializes because of whatever reason, you feel like it's the end of the world. I slept at her staircase waiting for her till 2am plus, I did a lot for her, we told each other how much we love each other, but what.. Sigh.

You know what's my New Year's Resolution? Firstly, I'm not gonna give up on her. Secondly, I'm gonna chase her again. Thirdly, I'll make us start anew. Fourthly, I'll help her keep her promises she made to me. After that, I'll do the rest on my list.

I won money from gambling with my relatives. But so what? I can't spend it with you.. But I promised, I'll get you something instead. D, watashi wa honto daisukii desu. I'm waiting for you. (:

2010.. 
i'll continue to wait for you.

Nobody can hurt me, except you. You're the only one I can tolerate, the only one I can say 'hurt me now, it'll make you feel better' too. I willingly became your punching bag. Now, I'm gonna be trying.

--

I'll be off to Malaysia tomorrow morning. When we were still happy together, you said trust me, I'll wait for you to come back. I'm still trusting you. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. It's a long day ahead now, I need to go and do your surprise. I hope you'll like it, really do.

when i say i love you,
i really do.
when i say i won't give up,
i really mean it.
when i made the promise of helping you overcome,
i really promised you and myself.
now, i'm gonna show you,
i keep promises and i make them happen.
i'm still hanging on there, firmly.

Two sleepless nights; how many days I've lost appetite. I know I must survive this, because I need to, to continue.

Time to try and get some sleep now, boy. You've got a longggggg day ahead.

Okay, stop complaining about the girly link. =/ I didn't do up this blog, it was Daphne. She's the mastermind behind everything :D

I've decided to delete that old blog, because I felt there's no point in keeping it anymore. So, my rants shall now be here.

Daph, don't ignore me anymore laaaaaa ~
sigh.

Muahahahaha, my first post on baka's blog is here!
-Daphne

Xuanyou
19Nov'92
Republic Polytechnic

Daphne:)
Alvin
Brian
Caiwen
Cheryl
Cassandra
Emily
Fazila
Felicia
Huining
Jasmine
Jing Long
Kaarthigan
Kaixin
Keng An
Kenny
Kevan
Kris
Li Ping
Lynn
Michelle
Pei Yi
Rachel
Shi Lei
sILin
Sim Yee
Siok Teng
Siying
Stephanie
Wei Chiang
Xiangqi
Xin Yan
Yawen